Occasionally, I get an email from one of our
readers. When I do, I always respond back. When I got this recent email
though, I asked the gentleman if I could re-post our correspondence so
that other parents might benefit from our insights. He agreed, so long
as his real name was replaced by a pseudonym.
Mr. Vikram B.:
Read
some of your articles and found them to be very informative. I have a
five year old going to pre-k. He knows his ABCs, colors and other
stuff. But some days at school he will sit and not do his tasks and
also not eat anything, will cry a bit and when the teachers ask him why
he says I miss my dad (thats me). I have tried to encourage him, and of
course always get him back from school in time, but his behavior has
not improved a whole lot. Any suggestions on what can we do?
J.M. Holland:
I
understand how frustrating it can be to have your child cry when you
have made the decision for them to enter school. Sometimes children
will be upset for very real reasons that have nothing to do with why
they say they are upset. They can become upset as a form of trying to
influence (manipulate) their surroundings, including the adults in
their lives. And sometimes there is something they actually do just
miss − like a mom or a dad − and must become accustomed to the separation from a loved one.
I
would ask the teacher how he interacts with the other children and
adults in the room. If he is "fine," then he may be enjoying the
attention he gets from being unhappy. If he is withdrawn, there may be
some classroom considerations that can be discussed with the teacher
and /or director of the center. There can be children in the class with
unacceptable behavior that is not addressed proactively, or there can
be a lack of intellectual challenge for your son, or the teacher may
just be unengaged. All of these situations could cause your son to
express himself through crying.
How to change it...
One
way I have seen children improve their outlook on school is when they
can bring a part of their life from home into school. This could mean,
with teacher approval, bringing a toy or game that they can share. This
puts them in a powerful position and allows them to gain what we would
call "respect" from other students by making them the center of
attention.
Two weeks later I emailed Mr. Virkam B. to check
on his son. He emailed back, "Its been going pretty good since the last
two weeks have been seeing improvement every day."
Often just
the slightest confirmation of belonging can help a child transition
into the life of a classroom. What are some strategies that you have
tried as a parent or a teacher?
In a
surprising turn of events, Susan Linn, a well known early childhood
advocate at Harvard's Judge Baker Children's Center, humbled the king
of all children's media, The Walt Disney Corporation. Linn's watchdog
advocacy group, Campaign for a Commercial Free Childhood sued Disney because it claimed the Baby Einstein videos it sold were educational for both babies and toddlers. Inside Pre-K posted a youtube video of Linn speaking about the lawsuit in September. - The company marketed the videos, "created from a baby's point-of-view," — as a way for parents to stimulate their children's cognitive development. Due to pressure
from the CCCF and other advocates concerned about the idea of quality
early learning taking place in front of a television, Disney issued a refund voucher for Baby Einstein DVDs purchased within the last five years.
After
CCCF claimed the voucher as a win in their fight against Disney, the company claimed that is has always maintained a money back guarantee on
the product.
Now, if I could only get a refund for those twenty minutes I spent watching Hanna Montana with my daughter...
Parent teacher conferences are not always something parents or teachers look forward to. I have an advantage: I see parents every day when they drop off or pick up their child. This allows me to get to know each family and check in when a child might be struggling with something or to let them know a funny anecdote from the day.
I just completed our round of spring conferences. Now that our program is specifically for four and five-year-olds, most of our time is spent discussing whether or not their child is ready for kindergarten. My colleagues and I have come up with a very comprehensive assessment form that allows us to really help parents see where their child excels and also where additional support throughout the summer and at home would be helpful.
In accordance with our state standards, these areas are divided into language and literacy, mathematical reasoning, science and sensory, reading and writing, large and fine motor skills and social/emotional development.
Most parents have a pretty good idea of how their child is doing in all of these areas and are also working on these skills at home. Unfortunately, our conferences, like our programming, are voluntary. Consequently, I don’t often to get to spend those twenty minutes face to face with those that potentially need more assistance before kindergarten. Either the parent doesn’t show up or they are working multiple jobs and cannot take the time off. I am wondering if any of our readers might have suggestions for encouraging parents to participate?
A teacher is only one person, no matter how good a teacher he or she is. It takes more than one person to create a successful student. Just like the African proverb says, it really does take a village to raise a child.
This brings me to the heart of what it takes to create an engaged and successful student, parent involvement. It's more than passing out napkins and juice at snack time. Parent involvement is about engaging parents in their child’s education and teaching them how to become involved.
We start teaching parents what pre-k is all about at our pre-k registration in the spring. Before students step foot in class, parents are shown a video of developmental milestones for four year olds. Many parents are shocked to learn that a child of four years of age should be fully potty trained and weaned from a bottle, even more so when they learn that it's their job to do it! We offer tips and resources at the close of the video to help them accomplish these goals, and, when the parents return in the fall to complete their registration, we show the same video again to ingrain the idea in their minds.
Next, just before school starts, we hold a Pre-K Orientation meeting in our classroom for both parents and students. There another video showing the ins and outs of attending pre-k is played. A few weeks following orientation, we invite parents back again to teach them how best to help their children at home. We provide each parent with all the materials necessary to reinforce classroom learning at home.
Parent/teacher conferences,another important component of parent involvement, are also critical to a child's success in the classroom. More than just in-person progress reports, I approach these meetings like coaching sessions. Every parent is provided with a packet of information that is reviewed carefully with them. If I notice a student struggling with letter identification, I review that particular section of the packet with the parent. I discuss a variety of ways that mom and dad can help build the skill at home, like pouring salt onto a dark plate or surface and writing the letters in the salt. I do an in-conference demonstration for every student's parents. If the issue is fine motor skills, we review the page in the packet that explains how to strengthen the muscles in the hand using simple and fun exercises. Demonstrations are key to the parent's success of following through with the proposed activity at home.
So you’re probably thinking all that sounds like a lot of work. Well you’re right, it most certainly is! But the pay off, stronger pre-k students and parents getting involved in their child’s education, is priceless. When you teach a parent how to become involved, odds are that they will remain that way through the rest of their child’s educational career.
Sadly, using the assessment scores for my class as an example, the 4 students who consistently scored the lowest had parents who weren't involved in their education. The equation, more involved parents equals more successful students, speaks for itself.
I think the most important thing about parental involvement is to remember it’s not just about physically being in the classroom. Learning how to be involved in the child’s education - early - is a key component to their overall school success.
It seems hard to believe that the school year is coming to an end. In just a few short days our regular programming will be over. As I reflect on our last eight months together, it is easy to see how my students have progressed. They are learning to write and recognize their letters, they have practiced using manners, they've begun playing cooperatively and are now able to keep their bodies in control. What is maybe less obvious but more astounding is the transformation their parents have undergone!
The one benefit to our “no transportation” dilemma is that I do get to see and interact with each parent every day. They have all made a huge commitment to their children and to our world. Recognizing the importance of early childhood education and getting their children to school each day are two of the most important things they can do to ensure their kids' healthy development.
I am reminded of a mom who was nervous about her son, an English language learner. He was quiet and reserved in our classroom for the first 5 months of the school year. Every day, we would take steps to encourage him to use his words or participate in a classroom activity. His mother came in to ask me if she should just keep him at home because at least there he chooses to talk. I worked with her regularly so that she could reinforce the activities Sam was learning at school in their home. Now Sam is thriving -- and choosing to speak in school, too! He participates in every lesson and is using English as if it was his first language. Mom recently mentioned how much he has grown and added, “I feel like now I know what to do to help him.”
Another family in our class struggled to come to terms with their daughter's special education diagnosis. While early detection in pre-k helps Teresa and others obtain key supports and services sooner than they might otherwise, learning that a loved one will most likely always require additional help in classroom settings can initially prove difficult to swallow. But throughout this past year, Teresa has shown both her parents and me that she is ready to learn. At our conferences, her parents mentioned, “We didn’t know she could pour her own juice, use manners, or really play with another kid.” I reminded them that with practice, patience, and the proper tools children with special needs can achieve great successes. They are committed to helping Teresa achieve her goals and will actively support her throughout her development.
What a great feeling to know there are so many dedicated and caring parents out there! Parents and teachers will always have something to learn from one another, and I so appreciate having partners like these who are equally committed to helping their children develop into happy, healthy, and contributing citizens.
This Friday I attended Nature, Children and Families: A Necessary Connection, a conference and workshop sponsored by the Minnesota Landscape Arboretum and the Minnesota Council on Family Relations. A researcher at the University of Illinois, Urbana-Champaign, Dr. Andrea Faber Taylor, presented evidence based on studies that show contact with nature is a necessity for all healthy children.
As Dr. Taylor explained, the idea is not rocket science. The majority of her audience being educators, park and recreation specialist, nature center staff and urban liaisons – most of us weren’t there to get her carefully researched statistics. We were however a captive audience listening to her expert advice on ways to get our children out of the house, away from the TV and into nature.
Think about when you were a child. How much time was spent outdoors? How much time did you spend watching TV or playing video games? I’m only 25 and I remember picking my favorite television programs for the week. My carefully regulated TV time totaled 30-60 minutes a day at most – about 7 hours a week. According to co-presenter Dr. Martha Farrell Erickson, a professor at the University of Minnesota, children today are watching up to 45 hours of TV a week! That’s almost more time than I log creating my lesson plans and teaching in my pre-k classroom!!! I was floored.
Here’s the deal: the time children spend out and about in nature is rapidly declining. You’ve heard the excuses: “It’s too cold,” “It’s not safe for my kids to play outside in our neighborhood,” or the classic, “I just don’t have time.”
Not to fret though, there’s an old Norwegian saying that goes, “There’s no such thing as bad weather – just bad clothes.” Not taking time now equates to big losses in the end. Being in nature helps your child’s physical health, strengthens their mental capacity and improves their concentration. Children that spend time in and around green spaces are more attentive, have less impulsive activity and greater self-discipline. They’re also more likely to care for the earth throughout their lives – a major benefit considering our country’s environmental crisis.
Safety in our ever-changing world is and will continue to be a valid concern. While child abductions are down since the 1970’s, neighborhood violence throughout our nation is on the rise. If you are concerned about safety in your neighborhood, look for green spaces that are well populated and patrolled by park officials or police officers. Even jump roping in your driveway or outside the front door of your apartment is a possibility. Just make sure there is parental supervision, a previously designated “safe spot” to go to if someone is lost or hurt, and a friend that knows you and your child’s whereabouts. Also, don’t forget your first aid kit!
One more piece of advice: check out your green space before bringing a child to it. Take note of the layout and look at the grounds and the equipment. If you don’t feel comfortable, try another green space around your town or city.
Give it a try! Going green’s never felt so good. And tell us how it went after you make your way back to the computer!
Last week, I sent home fliers about kindergarten registration, starting at the end of February. As expected, I was flocked with questions, emails, and phone calls from parents asking “IS MY CHILD READY?” I suppose if there was someone to ask, it should be me--the “School Readiness” pre-kindergarten teacher!
I have a pretty good sense of which areas children need more practice in and which students are more successful at interacting with their peers. Thankfully, I try to work with each child individually at least once a week--if not more. I find that keeping a daily log and ongoing formal and informal assessments help track my students' progress.
Yet, every year when I get this question, sometimes I don't feel confident and I am torn with how to respond. Maybe because it is a decision that will affect their family, especially their child, for the rest of his/her life! I think parents should be the decision makers when it comes to this difficult question. However, that is never a good enough answer for my families. They want to know how their child is doing academically, whether they are socially ready for kindergarten, and if I think it is a good choice to hold them back.
For this reason, I have a collection of articles and checklists to help parents process this decision with me. We go through them together, remembering that we need to think about Ryan or Sylvia not only as a kindergartener but as a fifth grader, an eigth grader, a high school senior, and hopefully a college senior! Together, we discuss language skills, interest in learning and reading, ability to listen to stories and to play well with others, fine and large motor skills, and basic letter/number recognition. I encourage parents to spend time in our room as a volunteer so that they can observe their child and really think about the pros and cons of waiting to enroll.
Ultimately, this process reminds me that not only am I teaching and learning with young children, I am facilitating and mentoring families through some of their most important life decisions. This comes with a lot of pressure, but I am able to provide my families with the tools to make informed and thoughtful choices.
During the summer I developed a program that encourages meaningful interaction between parents and their children at home. Using the Minnesota Parent Education Core Curriculum Framework, I created a list of possible activities. The five main components include: Parent Development, Parent-Child Relationship, Early Childhood Development, Family Development, and Culture and Community.
As part of the program, parents sign a "contract" in which they agree to complete ten activities per semester (two activities in each of the five sections). Parents reflect using the “What?, So What?, Now What?” model. They describe what they did (What?), explain why it was important to them (So What?), and how it will affect their family in the future (Now What?).
I am pleased and encouraged at the depth of the reflections I received throughout this semester. One parent commented, “I always knew reading [to my child] was important. But I didn’t know that [he] could read to me!” Another family spent time talking about their family tree and learned about great-grandparents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles who emigrated from South America. A mom reflected that her son was able to spend one-on-one time with his father – something that she thinks is “so valuable.”
This special guest entry was written by Libby Doggett, a long-time advocate for early childhood education and the executive director of Pre-K Now (the sponsor of Inside Pre-K).
As a "helping parent" in my granddaughter’s pre-kindergarten class, I was recently reminded how important the pre-k experience is in every child's life, even a child as fortunate as Ella.
You might think at first that Ella does not have much to gain from pre-k. She has two well-educated and loving parents, an adoring extended family nearby, and a diverse group of playmates who are introducing her to different languages and cultures. On weekends, I enjoy taking her on "field trips" to community events and the grocery store or just walking the neighborhood and playing with a new box of “old” toys stored in my attic.
Nevertheless, Ella learns things in pre-k she wouldn’t otherwise. On the day I helped in her classroom, these lessons included:
When Ella held tightly to the three sponges and three dollies in the big tub of soapy water, she found out that the other kids couldn’t use them—but neither could she. I watched her struggle to let go of control, but she finally agreed to share the dollies and sponges, learning that washing the doll with another child could actually be more fun.
Ella didn’t want to wait her turn to ride the Big Wheel, but she managed to do so with firm urging and a hug from her teacher. Waiting is hard, but it's a fact of life and an important skill to learn early on.
Ella learned that a toy train track can be assembled a lot faster if three children work on it together.
And, through the lessons above, Ella learned that other adults care about her and can help her do things.
As I scraped gooey play-dough off the table, floors, and chairs, I kept thinking that helping in the classroom is a wonderful way for families to support and be involved with this important first step of their child’s education.
Ella’s pre-k center requires that parents work in the classroom once a month as the teacher’s aide. Ella’s mom and dad both work and have to adjust their schedules to accommodate this requirement, but the payoff is great. They know the teacher, assistant teacher, all the kids, most of the parents, and the daily schedule – involvement that shows what an integral part of good parenting quality pre-k can be.
Being in the classroom, parents (and grandparents) get a glimpse of their children interacting with other children and adults outside the home. My glimpse showed me that Ella is indeed tall (her dad is 6’7”), and her language skills are quite advanced. But I saw the limitations in her social skills, too.
With this knowledge comes comfort. Now, Ella’s parents, teachers, and I know in what ways she still needs to grow. Through learning at home and in the “real world” of pre-k, Ella will gain those skills, and so will thousands of other children.
As my children prepare for pre-k graduation and the move to kindergarten, I cannot help but wonder about their futures. Will Karen become a doctor? Will Awana have the chance to choose between being a ballerina or a doctor? Will Aniyah’s behavior regress and threaten her academic progress?
I have worked to introduce school to my class as an exciting and fun place where they can make friends, learn, and be successful. Anecdotal evidence and various forms of assessments suggest that my students have already started to realize their potential and are on the path toward high achievement in school and beyond. Parents’ strong attendance at our class events and interest in enriching their child’s learning over the summer also bode well for my students’ academic prospects.
Yet my students still have many years during which their attitudes toward school, themselves, and their peers could change for the worse. Most of them will continue to live in unsafe neighborhoods and struggling school districts. The research showing that students in inner city schools who have had high-quality pre-k do better than those who have not gives me hope. I know that my instruction in the classroom and the active support of family members during this critical stage in children’s development will have life-long benefits. I also believe innovative changes are occurring in the K-12 system, many of them spearheaded by my fellow Teach For America alums. But, on an individual level, it is still hard to predict how high each child in my class will build on the pre-k foundation he or she gained this year.
My time in the classroom has been, above all, about providing the kinds of opportunities for my students that they deserve. The playing field is not level, even for three and four year olds. High-quality pre-k teachers alone cannot ensure that a child won’t face educational and societal inequities down the road, but the vibrant and challenging learning environments we provide are the first step toward giving all children an equal chance at success.
Pre-K Now is a public
education and advocacy organization that advances high-quality, voluntary
pre-kindergarten for all three and four year olds.
Visit Pre-K Now >
As I scraped gooey play-dough off the table, floors, and chairs, I kept thinking that helping in the classroom is a wonderful way for families to support and be involved with this important first step of their child’s education.
