Coping with the Bad Days

Like adults, pre-k students have good days and bad days.  How we as teachers deal with the latter can significantly impact our relationships with individual students, their academic and social growth, and our overall classroom culture.

Just as we differentiate instruction to meet the needs of all students, we must also individualize our approach to motivating them.  Karen, though upbeat and highly participatory throughout the day, periodically comes to school in tears, clinging to her grandmother.  She is quite comfortable using writing and drawing as a creative outlet, so  I suggest that she write a note or paint a picture for her grandmother during choice time.  This helps her remain connected even when she cannot be with her family.

Her grandmother and I have also worked on stressing responsibility with Karen.  I thank all of my students for being responsible when they correctly follow our morning routine as they enter.  Karen’s grandmother and I use that same terminology when we are trying to stop her from crying.  This process usually takes a few minutes.  She then calmly puts away her belongings, washes her hands, and is eating breakfast with her friends in no time.

Awana occasionally comes in sobbing and lethargic, particularly if she has been absent or we are returning from the weekend.  If she says anything, it’s usually a very quiet, “I want to go home.”  Her mother is not nearly as present or supportive as Karen’s grandmother, nor does she use writing and art in the same way as Karen.  She does, however, respond well to good old-fashioned hugs.  I usually ask her how she feels, let her know how I would feel, remind her of our classroom routines, give her a hug, and send her on her way to “have fun and learn with her friends.”  Kevin or David sometimes chime in with their own hugs and a “We missed you when you were out, Awana.”

Aniyah often arrives late and upset about something that happened with her brother on her way to school.  Despite our daily “fresh start,” she sometimes carries over some baggage from behavioral problems the day before.  I am quite familiar with her affinity towards cheer leading and use this knowledge to motivate her.  I often greet her with a cheer to her name or ask her to help me out with a cheer for one of her friends.

Understanding and effectively addressing mood fluctuations is an important part of my job, and through this process my students gain self-confidence and the trust in me they need to be engaged members of the classroom community.  When we as teachers succeed in this role, disruptions to the class are minimized and children are less likely to use negative behavior to get attention.

Perpetual Peace: Kant's Vision Realized through Pre-k?

The other day I was reminded of the importance of solidifying positive and peaceful attitudes early on in pre-k.  I overheard a teacher reprimanding a first-grade student in the hallway for hitting another child.  The teacher simply said, “You cannot hit her, it’s not nice.  Do you understand?”  When the child did not respond, the teacher said, in a more abrasive tone, “Say YES!.”  The child then said “yes,” as commanded, and the teacher moved on.

I had to wonder how effective that child will be in solving problems on his own.  Perhaps his teachers to date have not taught social skills effectively.  Or possibly he has experienced things that have undermined the endurance of those skills in the long run.  The incident caused me to reflect on my efforts this year.

I start teaching our peaceful and empowering approach in the beginning of the school year.  The process entails direct whole-group instruction through puppet role plays, books about friends and feelings such as Words are not for Hurting, and songs like “The More We Get Together.” In these activities, we use consistent language like, “I feel sad when you [fill in the blank].”  Add to this many one-on-one, informal teachable moments, and gradually the children gain an understanding of why they should use their words instead of their hands. 

By December, my students were able to follow through with a “peace agreement”, but I served a dominant role in the initial stages of the process.  Since then, the children have made even more progress and now take ownership of the peace process from the beginning.  For instance, David used to suggest that characters in our stories use violence to solve problems.  If the Cat in the Hat won’t leave, David suggested, we should “hit him on the head.”  Now, he is more likely to recommend talking through problems.  When we discussed recently how the farmer in Farmer Duck exploits duck and refuses to do any work, David chose peaceful means over violent ones, advising the duck to tell the farmer, “Please, can you help me?.”

Other children still require occasional reminders and encouragement, but their skills are clearly developing.  Tyrone’s first inclination during a recent read aloud was to hit the animals that had stolen a character’s fruit.  After I asked him, “Do we hit animals or people?” he offered an alternative measure: “I would tell the animals that I won’t ride them no more.”  Similarly, Jeffrey came to inform me today that another student would not let him play with a certain toy.  All I had to say was, “Work it out on your own,” and Jeffrey returned to the student to say, “I feel sad when you won’t let me play with it.”

Pre-k teachers - indeed, all teachers - have an obligation to teach conflict resolution in a way that empowers students to solve problems peacefully.  I want my students to leave pre-k with the rationale and language needed to facilitate peaceful conflict resolution so that, throughout their lives, they will rarely, if ever, receive a scolding like that first grader in the hall.  Perhaps if we start with pre-k classrooms that provide students with such tools, we will lay the foundation for a society that more closely embodies Immanuel Kant’s vision of enduring peace between people and states.   

The Benefits of Pre-K: A Parent's Perspective

After reading the reports about the link between childcare and negative behavior problems later on, I thought it might be helpful to hear a parent’s take on the effect of pre-k on her son’s development.  I decided to interview Ravon’s mother (“RM” for the remainder of the interview).

Ms. Pappas: Why did you decide to enroll Ravon in pre-k?

RM: I didn’t want a lot of play for Ravon.  My younger brother was in your class the previous year, and I always liked the way you involved the parents in the homework assignments.  I like the interaction with me and Ravon because I know what he is learning and we can work on further developing his listening and language skills together.  Also, you still let them play in your classroom, but they learn through the play.  Daycare was just play, play, color, color, all day long, but not enough learning. 

Ms. Pappas:  What do you think about recent studies that link childcare programs with negative behavior later on?

RM: Well, I used to work in daycare, so I agree.  They tend to baby the kids instead of giving them ways to solve problems when they misbehave.  They don’t explain things as much.  The regular elementary school pre-k is different.  You explain to the child why they are wrong and how they can correct themselves. 

Ms. Pappas: How much education do you think a pre-k teacher needs in order to benefit children?

RM: I think experience goes a long way, often more than education.  Some people with experience over education can deal with children better.  My grandmother had no education and kept eight children in line. 

Ms. Pappas: What are the benefits of pre-k?

RM: I have seen so much growth with Ravon.  He’s expressing himself better.  He’s more disciplined, and he wants to come to school.  He doesn’t want to miss a day.  My husband and I are so happy. 

Ms. Pappas: What are your hopes for Ravon?

RM: Ravon can write, express himself more, interpret things better, read at least on his level. 

Ms. Pappas: What about in the long run?

RM: I want my son to go to college.  I want him to have a very decent job.  I want him to enjoy what he does.  It's not as much about the money.  I really want him to be happy. 

Bad Behavior Solved, Not Made, in High-Quality Pre-K

I was concerned last week when a recent report linking child care to later behavioral problems in children grabbed headlines.  I can only imagine the guilt that parents who have children in such programs felt upon hearing this news.  But the reality is far from the “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” picture painted in the media.

High quality pre-k offers the chance for young children to learn how to express themselves appropriately in a wide range of social interactions, how to solve conflicts with peers, and how to function productively in a structured school environment.   

The first thing my children learn is how to follow set routines.  Many come in without any previous childcare experience.  Their first week behaviors have included children leaving the class to run down the hallway laughing and screaming and others simply wandering the classroom unresponsive to my efforts to give directions.  I consistently implement classroom procedures and routines designed to make the students capable of working on their own and with others. 

By the end of September they could do everything from sitting on the rug to disposing their lunch tray.  They also knew what would happen if they did or did not follow our classroom rules, why it was important to follow the rules, and how to “use their words” to solve conflicts.  Their awareness of what to expect, desire to receive positive praise, and investment in our “we are all friends” classroom culture curbed negative behavior.  Moreover, our emphasis on the rationale behind wise choices such as peaceful conflict resolution made our teaching more lasting. 

Parents can certainly also teach their children about solving problems and behaving appropriately.  Yet pre-k offers the opportunity for young children to practice these strategies with a large and diverse group of their peers on a daily basis.  Kevin, aka “the anti-sharer,” who frequently threw temper tantrums when he did not get a turn at something, frequently exhibited similar behavior at home.  Pre-k gave Kevin the chance to practice working out problems with other children, a skill that will help him in school and at home.  Moreover, we used our knowledge of his learning style based on our extensive anecdotes to develop an outlet for his negative energy and an opportunity for him to take ownership of the solution within the context of our daily routines.    

High-quality pre-k offers high-quality teachers focused on analyzing student behavioral problems and implementing enduring solutions. Without such attention, I could see the problems getting worse and producing the kind of results captured by this latest research.  For me, this study and my experiences are a call for educators, parents, and policymakers to support efforts to make all early care and education programs high quality.       

Honoring our Contract

She did it!  After three weeks on her individualized behavior contract, Aniyah finally earned enough points to present a special cheering show in front of the whole class. 

As she stepped into the spotlight, Aniyah was surprisingly shy, unlike her attitude when giving frequent, disruptive cheers at inappropriate times.  This “command performance” cheer was a bit more subdued.  Yet as her friends cheered her on, her face brightened, and you could hear a sense of pride reverberating through her voice.

She cheered while clapping out each letter, “A-N-I-Y-A-H, A-N-I-Y-A-H, Aniyah, Aniyah, I am Aniyah! Aniyah, Aniyah, Aniyah!”

When I shared news of Aniyah’s show with her brother and mother the following day, the pride became contagious.  Her family members smiled widely and seemed relieved that Aniyah was showing progress.

Aniyah’s road to victory was not quick and easy.  She initially responded to the point system just as she had to our whole class color card behavior system, asking me angrily why I gave her a one or a two or a yellow or blue card instead of connecting her behavior to the negative consequence.

As we had one-on-one conversations each day, focused on her specific behaviors and the number of points that corresponded with them, she began to grasp the relationship between her choices and the consequences.  Towards the second week, I would ask her how many points she thought she earned for the day, and she could usually guess correctly based on her own assessment of her behavior. 

What does Aniyah’s behavior look like on the rug now?  She usually listens to her friends and me attentively and rarely creates a disturbance by calling out.  We, of course, still have our cheering moments, but these have become exceptions.

Perhaps best of all, Aniyah’s behavioral improvements have facilitated intellectual growth.  She engages more actively in discussion during stories, making predictions and thinking critically about how to solve the characters’ problems.  Just last week, she posed the “water car” solution to the problem in Leo Lionni’s classic, Swimmy.  After losing his school of fish to one deep sea predator, Swimmy found another school of small fish so petrified of big tuna fish that they would not swim around the ocean.  Aniyah’s solution required the small fish to drive a water car out of the ocean away from the big tuna fish.  Aniyah was so focused that she not only suggested the idea but also wrote “wtr car” on our solutions list without guidance from me.

Her behavioral and academic progress have gone hand in hand, and I look forward to more improvements in the months ahead.  This is one contract that both sides of the table are happy with.