Becoming Social: Karen's Journey into our Community

Karen's grandmother told me from day one that she was concerned about her granddaughter's social skills.  She had never been to school before and spent most of her time around adults: uncles, grandparents, and cousins.  Karen already excelled in basic literacy and math skills after working with her great grandmother, a retired school teacher, one-on-one for the past year.  Her transformation into a highly sociable member of our classroom community highlights the benefits of pre-k, even for those children who can attain academic readiness at home.

Karen's experiences made her quite focused on reading, writing, and interacting with Ms. Morrison and me in the fall.  She chose to read in the Library, play with Table Toys, or paint by herself during Choice Time.  Like David she was quite hesitant to join her fellow four year olds in more social areas such as Dramatic Play and Blocks.  Yet she listened to and comprehended stories read on the rug, could write her name, and was starting to make connections between letters and their sounds.  While I kept challenging her with her academics, I knew the real challenge for Karen would be developing relationships with her peers.

I exposed Karen to the same community building lessons as David.  But whole group songs about our friends and puppet role plays did not motivate Karen to socialize with her friends.  She would cheer on her friends and participate in role plays at the rug, but then continue to play on her own during choice time.  I needed to use a more proactive and involved approach that both reflected Karen's current comfort level and built on that comfort level to further her social development.

Karen gravitated toward and listened to me because I was an adult.  So, I invited her to play with me and then suggested we either join her peers or invite them to play with us.  She agreed and, over time, discovered how much fun her friends could be!  I remember her laughing with Samar in the Discovery Area while they tested magnets with various materials.  She even started problem solving independently with her friends in December.

Karen has come a long way since September.  Just this week, she chose to go to Dramatic Play and was soon taking her friends' orders at our pretend restaurant.  She and her friends joked about changing their names in the Sand Area last month.  She still sometimes prefers "alone time," like when she became adamant about separating the seal and the alligator in the Water Area so the seal would be safe, as shown in the picture.  Yet she frequently experiences the very social interactions that will help her build and nurture relationships for years to come.

Lessons in Diplomacy

Last week, I had another round of bilateral talks - a.k.a. parent-teacher conferences - which again revealed the importance for pre-k teachers to possess good “diplomatic skills.”

Going into the conferences, I was enthused about discussing my children’s progress.  Tanasia, who had struggled to come out of her shell, is now participating throughout the day and moving forward in basic math and literacy skills.  A look at David’s writing folder demonstrates clear and constant growth, progressing from self-portraits he labeled with the letter “D” to short sentences written with little guidance using invented spelling.

I grew concerned, though, as I considered a few remaining difficulties with two family members in particular: Kevin’s grandmother, who emphatically disapproves of our literacy program; and Tyrique’s mother, who after more than five attempts to reschedule during the last cycle of conferences still never came.

Despite my efforts to engage her, Kevin’s grandmother had barely spoken to me since our confrontation in January.  She had, however, continued to complain to Ms. Morrison during the after-school program proclaiming, “I can’t wait until this year is over.”  While this round of conferences focused more heavily on social development and an explanation of a new assessment, I decided to start off our conversation with positive comments relating to her primary concern: literacy.  I began by discussing Kevin’s ability to read short sentences with little guidance from me (for example, he can read, “I like to see the fat cat run on the mat.”).  I showed her a short, teacher-made assessment I gave to Kevin the day before and modeled how he used his knowledge of letters, letter sounds, and sight words to read.  She was so overjoyed with this positive communication that I was able to shift gears and discuss Kevin’s need for further development in other skill areas, such as taking on roles in Dramatic Play, taking turns, and using words to solve conflicts.

Given her absence from the previous conference, I did not expect Tyrique’s mother to respond to the school’s formal efforts to set up conferences for this round.  I therefore made plans to reach out to her informally about two weeks before.    In addition to mentioning something positive about Tyrique’s performance each time she came in, I would say that I couldn’t wait to talk more about it and show her his great work at the conferences.  The day of the conferences she said she couldn’t stay, but we rescheduled for the next morning.  I made a comment about celebrating Tyrique over muffins in the morning.  She laughed and at 7:45 the next morning was at my door.  We had a productive conference and even discussed some behavioral issues which she too has noticed at home. 

In both of these cases, I believe it was my ability to talk with parents about their children in a positive light that helped us get past indifference and hostility.  It goes to show that, even when parents and teachers don’t see eye to eye or see each other frequently, communication between a child’s home and school is achievable and beneficial to all.

             

Bringing it Off

Aniyah, Aniyah, Aniyah…where do I begin?  First, I feel frustrated with shortcomings in my own efforts to develop a strong relationship with her over the past four months.  While we have some days and weeks during which she responds positively to my attempts to engage her in classroom activities, I see little constant progress in her behavioral skills.   

Second, I cannot help but feel frustrated with her.  Aniyah has done well academically, but persistent obstacles to her social development make me concerned for her overall progress in the future.   She frequently likes to “do her own thing,” as Ms. Morrison calls it.  For Aniyah, her own thing is pretending to be a dancing cheerleader, regardless of what the other children and I are doing.  We focus a great deal on respecting each other by listening to friends and the teacher during discussions.  Aniyah, however, frequently does her cheers while the other children are responding to a question or trying to focus on my lesson at the whiteboard.

In addition to using positive reinforcement to focus her on our class rules, I give Aniyah many opportunities to express herself freely, both within the context of our large group activities and on her own before the activities begin.  I integrated her interest in dancing into our morning meeting by allowing the students to dance during our greeting song.  We also frequently cheer the names of our friends (to the tune of B-I-N-G-O) and we use cheers to learn our high frequency words (e.g., “Give me a ‘T.’  Give me an ‘O.’  What does that spell?  To!).  I have also built in free movement and singing time right after naptime and before gross motor time.  I tell Aniyah she can cheer and dance all she wants for a few minutes on her own, but then she has to join the group for a quieter activity.
Still, Aniyah chooses to “bring it on” at inappropriate times, literally, with the cheers from the movie of the same name. 

For a little while, these compromises worked.  But, lately, her disruptive behavior has increased.  When I try to talk to her about choices and different activities for different times, Aniyah just keeps saying that all she wants to do is cheer and rolls her eyes.  She has even said, “I want to cheer.  I don’t want to learn.”  Positive reinforcement to keep her focused on the rug now works only sporadically.  She more often looks away or down at her shoes. 

I understand that cheering is her interest, and I really want to give her many chances to express herself.  Yet if I allow her to “do her own thing” all the time she will not only miss out on our lessons, but she will have serious difficulty adjusting to kindergarten where the teachers will most likely give her little or no time to express herself on her own. 

Out of her Shell

“Hello, my name is Tanasia Britch from Pre-k 114.  We will now sing Dr. King,”

Tanasia exclaimed loud and clear for everyone, grades pre-k through two, to hear.

She did it!  After a tough transition in the beginning of the year, Tanasia slowly began to participate in classroom activities without much encouragement from me or her peers.  Moreover, rather than repeatedly crying and inquiring about the time of her mother’s return, she now focuses on a wide range of subjects including bears and cars.  The more she shares with us in terms of her thoughts and interests, the better able I am to chart her academic growth.  Her gradual progress culminated in her widely acclaimed introduction of our class performance during the school assembly commemorating the life of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Her other accomplishments during the past two weeks include:

1. Counting each of her friends for snack time in a clear and loud voice without skipping anyone;
2. Identifying and chanting out the letters in the word "like" in our modeled morning message for the first time; and
3. Choosing to read books to and with her friends rather than reading alone.  Tanasia even encouraged her friend to read with her when she saw her friend crying.

As I reflect on her growth, I consider two major reasons for Ms. Morrison’s and my success with Tanasia:

1. Student-Driven Instruction: We took the time to understand Tanasia's interests and provided opportunities for her to talk about and make things for her family.  Our discussions at the rug, during lunch, and at choice time included plenty of open-ended questions which allowed Tanasia to speak openly about what was on her mind: her sisters, mother, father, and auntie.  If the mouse ate cookies and asked for some milk, we learned about how happy Tanasia feels when she eats cookies and drinks milk with her sister at home.  In addition, while Tanasia first hesitated to join her friends during choice time, she began to gravitate towards the Art and Writing areas once she learned that she could take home her finished products.  Tanasia may have been physically separated from her family, but since she had the chance to talk about and make things for her siblings and parents, she still felt connected to them while in school; and
   
2. Classroom Culture of High Expectations: We consistently responded to Tanasia’s crying with the expectation that she would eventually become more of an active and enthusiastic member of our classroom community.  Rather than excuse her from class activities or call her family to pick her up, we taught her all of the routines and rules like the rest of the children.  If she needed to cry when she first came in, she could, but she still needed to unpack, put her Math Homelink journal in the bin, wash her hands, and get her own breakfast.

The Rehabilitation of an Anti-Sharer

“And chances are if the mouse asks for a glass of milk, he’s going to want a cookie to go with it.”

Ahh, the end of story time, right after lunch and before nap-time…a time when most of the children are relaxing, flirting with the decision to crash prematurely on the rug before retiring to the comfort of their individual mats, or contemplating the complexities highlighted in the literary masterpiece just presented to them, in this case the enigmatic cyclical nature of Laura Numeroff’s classic, If You Give a Mouse a Cookie.

Yet, for Kevin, this point in the day used to be filled will anxiety, frustration, and sometimes pure anger if he was not chosen to help me pass out the mats.  Not anymore.

Unlike the other children, our key phrase –“Oh well, I’ll get picked next time.” –did not work for Kevin.  Ms.  Morrison and I decided to individualize our approach to Kevin’s struggle with taking turns and build on his visual learning style and interest in taking on greater responsibility.  Each day, after we complete our post-story discussion, Kevin walks over to Ms. Morrison’s table and figures out who should have a turn to distribute the mats by reviewing a list of his classmates who have helped over the course of the past two weeks.  He then announces the person picked for the day to the entire class.  Since we have developed the system Kevin has not cried or thrown a tantrum once during this transition time.   

We still have some difficulties in other parts of the day; for instance, if he doesn’t get picked during a discussion or game on the rug.  Yet the intensity of his responses has subsided, and he is better able to manage his anger without much direct attention from me.  He will sometimes turn his back to the group to weep silently or just breathe deeply.  He either comes back to the group on his own in a few minutes or responds to me praising others or engaging him with an interesting activity.  He even occasionally uses our “Oh well” message.

We have certainly made progress in working with Kevin and understanding how to continue improving his behavior in the future.  His ability to stay focused and calm even when he is not chosen or he does not get what he wants will undoubtedly help him grow both academically as a learner and socially as a member of our classroom community. 

The Horror of Sharing

Sharing space, sharing time, and sharing attention can be quite difficult for many adults…imagine teaching how to accept those realities in life to four year olds!  For my student Kevin, who exceeds most of the other children in academics, the idea of sharing is, simply put, horrifying.  He breaks down in tears when he doesn’t get picked for passing out the mats or if another child wants to play with the toy of his choice.  As an only child being raised by his grandmother he is not accustomed to sharing with other children.  Yet now, as a member of our classroom community, he faces thirteen peers, each with an equal right to the same toys and attention he seeks to hoard for himself. 

My aide, Ms. Morrison, and I, consistently remind the class of the fairness and value of sharing.  As the wise philosopher Dr. Pooh once said, “The more you share with others, the more they’ll share with you.”  We do not give in when the anti-sharers cry.  We provide plenty of opportunities for students to have special jobs and to explore our materials.  We also facilitate discussions between classmates focused on how we feel when our friends don’t share.  And yet, Kevin’s tears and wailing keep coming. 

Last week we tried to invest the whole class in our sharing goal by introducing a message they could send to each other and themselves: “Oh, well, I feel sad, but I’ll get picked another time.”  Results?  Too soon to tell.             

Class, Say "Hello" to Our Special Guest... the Blogosphere

Welcome to Inside Pre-K and thanks for visiting! On this blog, you can read about what's going on, day to day, in a real pre-kindergarten classroom, namely my own. I'll be your host/blogger, Sophia (a.k.a. Ms. Pappas). You can learn a lot about me here, but today I want to introduce you to a few of the 14 amazing four year olds in my class this year. You'll soon meet them all. (Note: Their names have been changed to protect their privacy and security.)

• Tyrone - or Doctor Smith, as we call him in Dramatic Play - has a strong foundation in basic literacy knowledge, but he was not very invested in the class at the beginning of the year. His attention span was shorter than most of the children during circle time, and he was often sitting and looking around the room, not participating with the other children or listening to me. He is showing improvement, though, and has since responded positively to activities like singing songs about his classmates and more hands-on tasks.
• Kevin came to school with a strong math and literacy foundation. He picks up on new academic concepts quickly and constantly participates in class activities. Socially, however, he has struggled and frequently cries when he does not get picked for something or has to wait his turn. He is the only child in his household, which may account for some of the difficulties.
• Karen arrived in my class with a strong academic foundation, but until coming to school she did not have much contact with other children. She had been only around adults for most of her early years and initially displayed a hesitance to interact with the other children. From day one, she has followed directions and been focused and actively engaged in whole group activities. She has made real progress since September in smaller group interaction and now frequently reads, shares, and plays with her classmates.

I also am fortunate to have a teacher's aide, Ms. Morrison, who has been working with young learners for more than 20 years. Her experience is very helpful to me, and so is yours. Whether you're an educator by profession, a child's first teacher (a.k.a. a parent/guardian), or just curious about pre-k, I hope you will comment on this blog and tell me and other readers your thoughts and questions about pre-k.